It's Not Enough / I'm Not Enough

from Personal Hotspot by FERLA

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lyrics

It’s not enough, I’m not enough, and I will never be enough

I was purposeless, waiting in line at the express with ten items or less.
Am I at a loss? Am I a loser? Have I got fewer or have I got none? I mumbled a prayer at the checkout before I cut it and run.
I am not bitter, cos I don’t even care. Why should I care?
I’m a seafood extender. I’m at the edge of an existential bender. I don’t know who I am.
The Uber driver told me that hope is not a strategy, well neither is apathy so I didn’t leave a tip.

Then I fell through a hole in the air where all I could hear were the superfluities of my wordless insecurities
and the squeaking of blood in my ears
whispering
‘but what if but what if but what if but what if but what if but what if but’
and panic feels like a snake coiled in your gut
and I hold onto hope for the day when all my thoughts run clear like water from a tap
running clear running clear running clear running clear running clear running clear

credits

from Personal Hotspot, released March 3, 2022

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